I guess you could say I’ve always been a seeker of truth.
Never satisfied with the opinions of others, and unable to find any sense in man made religion, I began my inner spiritual healing journey during my mid twenties when I became physically ill with an auto-immune disorder. This illness forced me to purify my physical body, which in turn assisted me in purifying my mental, emotional and spiritual bodies. In the beginning of my search I got a little lost in New Age false ‘love and light’ teachings that pulled me out of my body into premature ‘bliss’. I was only reaching for the highs, and avoided all negativity. I was pushing down all of my anger, my shame, rage, grief and guilt, and bypassing the truth of my inner pain and turmoil for so called ‘oneness’ or ‘love and light’.
During this time I became quite heavily involved in a well-known healing modality where emotional release was often bypassed for ‘emotional downloads’. This modality, and modalities similar to it are in my opinion very dangerous, as we begin to open up our higher spiritual or chakra centers ignoring the most important chakra of them all, which is of course the base chakra. If our foundation is not solid and we’re not feeling safe, with strong faith and trust in our path, things can get really bumpy so to speak. These types of healing modalities are all about the healings and not so much about taking action or integration.
False light usually has a hierarchical system at its core, which in turns encourages human beings to worship or give away their power to a so-called ‘god’, ‘creator being’, guru, shaman or ‘beings of light.’ These beings are usually perceived to be outside of the self, separate and/or more advanced. False Light bypasses the necessary emotional release of rage, anger, fear, guilt, grief etc by shaming these feelings and judging them as bad or even dangerous. It is true that these darker emotions when suppressed can often erupt into violence, but only when suppressed and shamed.
With the TRUE light of compassion and self-love and acceptance of ALL of our feelings we can begin to express and heal our past. Usually once we begin to undertake this journey we will need an experienced facilitator to hold a safe space for the release of these suppressed emotions.
There is a huge difference in wallowing in victim consciousness and being willing to feel the emotional distortion in order to let the emotion or original trauma go completely. When we commit to soul purification we begin to empty out the distortions by feeling them fully with love and compassion rather than wallowing in the pain and drama of the past, by staying stuck in shame, guilt or regret. It is therefore of utmost important to bring the balm of self-acceptance, love and forgiveness to these darker rejected emotional aspects of ourselves in order to authentically let them go.
Feeling our feelings is an ESSENTIAL part of soul purification, and cannot be bypassed without severe negative repercussions. I know, as this is exactly what happened to me when I experienced a destabilized kundalini awakening three and a half years ago. I was ripped open and hurtled into the mouth of inter-dimensional non-benevolent beings that did not have my best interests at heart. It has been quite a dramatic journey of putting back the pieced ever since, and I am determined to assist others by encouraging authentic, from the base chakra up, grounded, safe awakenings.
Because of social conditioning and programming we hold an enormous amount of trapped emotions within our emotional body. This has a direct negative effect on our physical body! Trapped grief will affect lungs and heart, anger will affect the liver, fear the bladder and kidneys, and the list goes on. The physical body is actually an amazing barometer for the soul, and can show us exactly where our trapped emotions and limiting beliefs lie. Most of us were constantly told to be good, to smile, to be polite, and to shut down our truth to make everyone else feel comfortable. This has been incredibly damaging to our souls. We sold our boundaries for approval from others.
We all seem to battle a major collective fear and belief, which is the fear of not being good enough, and the belief that we aren’t good enough. This dis-empowering belief sits at the core of human suffering. This lack of self-love, and the need to get it from outside us keeps us locked in victim consciousness. We give everyone else power over us by believing his or her judgments or their rejection of us. A massive inner conflict is created as we want to be authentic and truthful, but we don’t want to disappoint anyone else. We want love and adoration from others, but this is an inside job that only we can give to ourselves. This inner self-love is the ONLY love that can keep our cups full to the brim regardless of how others perceive us.
So what is the end goal? Surely we want to be free to shine who we are regardless of how others respond. We want to live in our authentic truth where it will be impossible for others to manipulate or control us. But to get to this level of freedom and sovereignty we need to do the groundwork. We need to FEEL and get totally NAKED with life.
When we live in fear of shining who we are, we hide, make ourselves invisible, and we never ever dare challenge ourselves. We stay stuck in our little worlds of TV dinners, addictions, distractions, or anything that will pull us away from ourselves. We have become slaves to our own fears, and believe you me when I say that this is a feast for some non-benevolent astral beings. Our fear becomes their food. We are not at the top of the food chain as you may think.
So how do we learn what we need to learn in order to be free?
It is in our relationships with each other where the true soul medicine is. We will attract relationships into our lives to learn our major soul lessons. For instance, if you have no boundaries, you’ll attract parasitic people into your life, until enough becomes enough and you learn to say no. Once your no gets really strong it will be impossible for parasitic people to parasite off you. You simply won’t attract these types of people into your life.
When you’re in your true light you will never give your power away, not to any shaman, or guru, ascended master or archangel. Sure, on our path to autonomy we will benefit from the teachings of others, but only listen to those teachers who point you inwards towards YOU. Don’t stay stuck in one belief system, healing modality, or teaching for too long. Shake things up, change, flow, and in this way you will begin to free yourself from the fears that bind you, and keeps you from shining YOU.
The meditation cushion on its own is just not enough to clear out trapped stuck rage, grief, fear and trauma. Meditation is of course incredibly powerful as it clears out the mental body, but combine it with breath work for deeper emotional release. Commit to feeling your pain, and do it consciously with an experienced healer or space holder. Your relationships with others, your physical health, your creative expression, etc will show you exactly where you still need to work on yourself. Can you dare to be vulnerable, open and free?
Authentic Self-Realization is not easy, and it will not take you to premature bliss, or any fake New Age love and light. It will drag you through the darkest of shadow wounding that needs to be healed for you to be authentically and truly free. It is the hardest work you’ll ever do, but the most rewarding too. What can be better than to master yourself in this lifetime? Everything else, including our professions are just mini exams compared to the joy of authentic inner freedom. Just imagine what it would feel like to be so free you can just flow in synchronicity, trusting yourself fully, trusting life, trusting all of it. But as they say, Rome was not built in a day.
This work takes time and a lot of dedication, on top of a strong willingness to look at your own shadow, to own your stuff and to speak up. The moment you commit to doing this work from the base up, feeling your feelings, busting through your fears, and taking responsibility, bit by bit you will free yourself, until you become so strong that nothing can dis-empower you in any way. This is what I want for you, true authentic self-realization and inner freedom.
This article has been republished from Louisa Healing
About the Author
Louisa Love offers skype and one-to-one kinesiology sessions where she draws on various different energy and healing techniques to help empower her clients to shine who they truly are. She also runs monthly full day workshops in Frome to assist within a group setting to release old trapped emotions and trauma. She is passionate about personal freedom and soul sovereignty for herself and all of humanity.